Nov. 7th, 2016

tsarina: (Grey Wardens)
I am listening to Bruce Springsteen play the final Clinton rally of 2016's endless election season. It makes me ache.

I've gone into elections anxious and keyed up, believing they would have significant impacts. I've voted in every presidential election since I could in 1998. Voting for Obama was the first time I backed a winning horse. The feeling of being on the verge of momentous, life changing things is not unfamiliar. But never have I gone into Election Day with actual fear about what the consequences might be. Never have I had a sobbing breakdown in fear about the risk to all of us, to this country. Never has an election given me panic attacks.

Even if Clinton wins, the virulent hate won't disappear. This year has opened the floodgates on the bigotry we've so often pretended doesn't exist except as an outlier. This year should make us acknowledge that the hate is mainstream, that the misogyny of the nation is so real and deep that a completely inexperienced narcissistic madman was considered a viable candidate next to an accomplished public servant.

Mostly I hope that the best of America turns out to repudiate this year of horrors.

Someone on twitter said tonight was a mix of Christmas eve and the night before potentially life ending surgery. I'm feeling it.

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